Thu, 03 May 2012 18:26:51 -0800WeeblyMon, 21 Jun 2010 15:14:57 -0800http://www.wabashmops.com/1/post/2010/06/why-mops.htmlSometimes I wonder if the mom that I was before I found MOPS would even recognize the woman that I am now.  My days back then were filled with the chores of a mom of 2 boys under 2.  Diaper changes, midnight feedings, and laundry had replaced adult interaction when I stopped working to be a stay at home mom.  We sold my car after Ethan was born so that we could afford to live off of one income.  I was trapped at home most days, unless I wanted to drag the kids out at 5am to take my husband to work.  We were young parents.  Most of our friends weren’t even married yet and all of them worked during the day.  I had always dreamed of being a mom who was blessed to GET to stay at home with my kids.  Now instead of feeling fulfilled, I found myself feeling isolated, depressed, hopeless, and resenting my husband for getting to leave the house everyday while I was stuck at home watching my brain turn into something that resembled the lumpy rice cereal I was feeding my baby. 

Things seemed pretty bleak… even though I had a great husband who loved me and helped around the house.  Even though my mom lived close and offered to watch my kids for date nights every so often.  Even though we went to church every Sunday.  I wondered what I was doing wrong.  How could I feel so desperate and alone when I spent every moment with my kids?  I prayed for hope, for a change in my attitude, for whatever it was I was missing.  That’s when God brought me an ad for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) in my local paper.  I had recycled the paper, but felt the need to go get it back out of the recycle can.  At first I thought I was signing up for a socializing/preschool type program for my kids, but I was willing to try anything at that point.  On my first Thursday morning, I took my mom to work so I could borrow her car, and I headed to the meeting.  It was AMAZING!  This wasn’t a preschool group for my kids, a mommy&me club, or a coffee break.  This was a group created JUST FOR ME by women who were JUST LIKE ME!  Women who understood how it felt not to get a shower every day, wear spit-up stained shirts, and have cheerios stuck in their hair.  They were moms who knew what it felt like to have only slept for 4 hours the night before and ladies who recognized that wildly desperate look in my eyes because they had felt it too.  These women were in the same season of life as me, accepted me just as I was, and wanted to be my friend. 

HALLELUJAH!  This is what I had been missing!  I was reminded that motherhood was never meant to be done alone.  I had found a group whose purpose was to encourage, equip, and develop me to realize my potential as a woman, mother, and leader in the name of Jesus Christ.  Now I couldn’t wait for Thursdays!  It was ok if my hair hadn’t been washed all week.  I wouldn’t be embarrassed if I was late because my baby had had a diaper blow-out as I was walking out the door.  There was always a warm meal that I could eat in peace while it was still hot because my kids were being loved in the MOPPETS program and a Mentor Mom snuggled with my baby.  MOPS had a new speaker at each meeting, presenting topics related to mothering, marriage, friendship, self, home, and God.  

Over the years, I’ve learned a multitude of strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry, how to relate to my husband better and how to stoke our romantic fire, how to keep my home organized, why having a mother-network of friends and family is so important, and so much more.  I’ve also been blessed to hear the testimonies of the women involved in my group, discovering how God has saved them and being encouraged by how He brought them through the trials in their lives.  I learned that I’m not alone, that my feelings are normal, and where to go for help.  Plus, during discussion time, I have gotten to have many grown-up conversations that didn’t require me to use the words ‘potty’, ‘owie’, or ‘no-no’.

I was asked to join steering at my first MOPS meeting and eagerly accepted the Publicity Team Leader position.  I stopped believing I was ‘just a mom’, a feeling I had burdened myself with during introductions at many of my husband’s work activities.  I was part of a team.  I was thrilled to meet with these amazing ladies EVERY week!  My new position also allowed me to use my computer skills, something I hadn’t been able to do since I worked outside of the home.  Opportunities arose that gave me the chance to stretch myself and grow in areas that I had very little confidence in, like public speaking and sharing my testimony.  I was enveloped in prayer for and with our MOPS group and enjoyed a weekly devotion focused on mothering and leadership.  And now I could return the support and encouragement that I had received with other women who were just like me.  I went on to take positions as Coordinator, Support, and Finance/Registration, all of which have met different needs in my life and have helped me give back to the group I love so much.

But I think that some of the biggest blessings that God has bestowed in my life through MOPS are the things that have happened outside of the MOPS meeting.  I have enjoyed MOPS and POPS nights out, MOPS at the Park events, leadership training at the local level, my first solo trips without my hubby and kids to the MOPS International Leadership Conventions in Nashville and Dallas, weekly bible studies, and the formation of friendships that have endured long after many of these women have graduated or have moved on from MOPS.  Recently, I joined 6 of my dearest girlfriends for our monthly girls’ night.  We chatted, snacked, giggled and caught back up with each other.  They are some of my very closest friends and I met EVERY one of them in MOPS.  These ladies were there with casseroles when I gave birth to my daughter, Emmi, and had 3 kids under 3.  We met for regular play-dates, sometimes more for each other than for the kids!  We created a weekly bible study together. They cried with me, supported me, and spoke the prayers I couldn’t find the strength to speak after my daughter, Eden, was born still.  They took turns watching my kids and cleaning my house while I was in the hospital afterward.  They prayed with me and held my hand when, at my ultrasound during my pregnancy with Corbin, the doctors found a birth defect that would later require surgery on his 9mo old baby-body.  They prayed when my husband was laid off and the bills were piling up.  When I got the call that my sister had died and that my neice had been orphaned, they were there with clothes, bedding, food, and prayer as we added Tatyana to our family.  And after complications during a surgery left me scared and unable to find the strength to go on, they came in caravan to the hospital to pray over me and to anoint my broken body.  This is what I had been missing before MOPS…this quilt of friendship knitted by God.  A team of friends to comfort and support me during the hardest moments in my life and a cheerleading squad to celebrate the biggest triumphs…like finally getting to sleep through the night, potty training, and getting my child to eat more than just noodles and cheese.  You know, those things only another mommy really gets excited about too. 

It’s been over 8 years since I attended my first MOPS meeting and I’ve been blessed to add more kids to my crew since then.  I still have chores that never end, sleepless nights, showerless days, and sometimes even cheerios in my hair, but I also have a network of friends who support me and who share this crazy life with me.  Even though I don’t NEED MOPS the way I did at first, it’s only because of the resources that God brought to me through MOPS.  I love meeting new moms who join our group each week and I’m always watchful for that look of desperation when they walk through the door…that look I recognize all too well.  MOPS is and always has been a refuge for EVERY mom: urban or suburban or rural, rich or poor, married or single, stay at home or working moms, teen moms and grandmas parenting their grandchildren, biological or adoptive or foster moms, women with a strong Christian walk and moms who have never walked through the doors of a church.  We all share a similar desire to be the very best moms we can be.  The only requirement is that you’re pregnant or mothering a child from birth through kindergarten. 

If you’re a mom and any part of my story has sounded familiar or even if you have it all together and just want time to come participate in our creative activities and savor the warm meal, think about joining us.  ☺  We’d also love your help if you can join as a Mentor Mom or MOPPETS volunteer.  But most of all, would you join me in praying for the outreach-mission ministry that is Wabash MOPS?   And if you see a mom with spit-up on her collar, bags under her eyes, and cheerios stuck in her hair…let her know that she’s not alone and MOPS was made just for her.  Maybe even offer to take her, it could change her life! 

Remember:  Better moms make a better world…and mothering matters.

Treva Clay
Wife to Isaac and Mom to Tatyana, Ethan, Braedan, Emmelia, Eden, and Corbin]]>